Slowly, but surely

I'm starting...slowly but surely to get this whole blog thing. As lame as this sounds..I kinda remember it from my past myspace days. I used to be obsessed with all the templates and HTML shtuff. I have a really hard time sitting at my computer for hours and feel like i'm being productive, but I'm going to try and get this thing to look halfway decent.

Short post but p.s. I really like that new pinterest thing. I shouldn't have ever asked what it was :)

Until next time..

Together is all we need

I've come to realize that the fall always brings the same feeling deep in your belly. Always brings back those memories of being a kid when everything was perfect. It has the same smell each and every year, no matter where you are, and who your with.
It's so strange how the cool, clarifying breeze can make you feel so differently about each day. I've also come to realize in the past 3 days that life is a constant shaky, wooden roller coaster. The pinacle of the coaster right before the first big drop is the clarifying, high of life. The part that goes through the tunnel where you can't see your hand in front of your face is the low, dark part of life. Typical analogy, I think. but its ohh so good, and ohh so true.

In the past 3 days i've gotten a perfect insite of my life. Talking to people, listening to people, and realizing the person I am is probably not the best me. I've been here in Indiana for 7 months, 1 week today. And even though that doesn't seem like a long time, it's felt like the longest 7 months of my life. I've also realized that I kinda feel like a failure. I have been so negative and reveled in it, I havent had the time to enjoy it. I'm 24, in a completely different part of the country, and I've thrown this amazing opportunity out the window. I have no clue how long I'm going to be here, but I've decided in my heart of hearts that I'm going to enjoy this place, for all that it's worth, until it's over. I've been given this amazing opportunity to figure out who Lauren is, and I just can't waste it any longer.

With all that said, I apologize profusely to everyone that has come in contact with me in the past 8 months. I'm sorry for my horribly negative attitude about life. I'm sorry about my complaints, my sorrows and my dispairs. It's hard to move away from everything, but it's life, and you have to learn to deal with it each and every day. I've learned in the past 3 days that no matter what life throws at you, at least it's throwing something at you. Because all in all, things could be much worse.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." — Gilda Radner

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life"

I'm obviously on this writing tandem right now..I guess that's what happens when you go 6 months without it. I'm at work right now and it's really peaceful (Every nurse knows to never say the "Q" word, it brings bad Karma).

I feel like eating a chicken sandwich with bacon, cheese, and french fries tonight. I always tell myself I'm not going to buy food in the hospital cafeteria, but it's so hard not to. Plus, i'm usually too lazy to get up 15 minutes early to make myself dinner before I leave the house. Sometimes I wonder how I can get through a 13 hour shift if I'm too lazy to get out of bed.

I'm totally in the rambling mood...we're supposed to get bad storms here tomorrow..it was 104 today, and Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday it's going to be in the 70s with a low of 50 something. I'm really hoping fall is on the way. As much as I like laying out by the pool, i'm ready for the snow and cozy clothes. I really enjoy Indiana more when there is snow on the ground and I get to wear jackets and boots. Maybe because it's something different..something I'm not used to.

I just wanted to add in here a little tribute to my best friend Hillary. I am so very proud of you very getting your dream job. I knew all long you would be a pediatric nurse. Your kind personality is one that will be perfect for that. I know this past year has been one of the hardest ever, but everything seems to pay off. You're moving on to bigger and better things and you're going to rock it. I can't wait to be back in the same state as you so we can hangout like old days. I miss it! Love you so much :)

That is all, I guess I should get off of here and do something a little more productive!

(verb) clar·i·fy

1. to make (an idea, statement, etc.) clear or intelligible; to free from ambiguity.
2.
to remove solid matter from (a liquid); to make into a clear or pellucid liquid.
3.
to free (the mind, intelligence, etc.) from confusion; revive: The short nap clarified his thoughts.


I think there might have been a little misunderstanding with my last update...I'm not 100% leaving Indiana...I've toyed with the Idea of leaving..but it won't be until next year...meaning 2012. I have this apartment for a year, and don't plan on throwing money away to break a lease. So...If anyone was confused..here is your (noun) clari·fi·cation.

"Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward" ~Soren Kierkegaard

So it hasn't been 7 months..but March is a long way away....like I promised...I'm going to take the time to update everyone on life in Podunk Indiana...

I still can't believe it's been a year since I got my nursing license..and 8 months since I moved to Indiana! To say the least...it's gone by very quickly. I've really learned a lot being at St. Mary's. I have countless stories of crazy things that i've seen..amazing things that i've learned, and sadness and defeat. Of course I won't relay all my nursing adventures on a public blog, but I can say that it's been an e.x.p.e.r.i.e.n.c.e.

I have decided that I really don't like night shift. I know i've said time and time again that I actually like it, and it's easier..it has taken my social life and flushed it down the toilet! I have me some nice people here that if I move, I would truly miss. I've recently started going to a local non-denomination church and joined an all girls small-group. We start our meetings next Wednesday and i'm really excited to expand my faith and meet some nice girl friends.

As much as I hate change, i've started applying back in the Houston area. I've decided that i'm not one to enjoy moving 1000 miles away from everything and everyone I know. I've applied to Texas Children's, and Memorial Hermann downtown in the medical center. I actually heard from a unit kind of like mine here in Evansville and they want to talk to me further. I'll keep my fingers crossed :) I also might apply to a pediatric hospital in Virginia Beach, Virginia. My cousin Lindsey lives there and it's right by the beach! I'm still in the Navy Nurse Corps running..but each and every day i'm starting to think that the Navy life isn't for me anymore. As hard as it is...I don't have the heart to tell my recruiter I'm falling away from the Idea. I've come to realize with nursing, and this job that no one is getting younger, including my parents. I've been away since I was 18 years old. I just feel like it's time to move back closer to them and enjoy their 'younger' years when I can. Some might think that sounds silly, but I think it's really important to be there for them when they have been there for me for the past 24 years. Plus, I love Houston...and I can't stand living in a small city anymore.

Evansville is a very 'family' oriented place. Everyone here is either married, married with kids...single but dating and in a serious relationship, or a douche bag. I've decided that a single, 24 year old girl in a place like this goes unnoticed. I've tried everything possible to meet other single people...it's a complete waste of time! I've gone to church...ive gone to the bars..I've gone to the grocery store by myself..I go to dinner by myself..I go to the movies by myself..and I'm still single Lauren. HENCE why I wanna move away haha.

I think the thing I will miss the most about Indiana is living close to my sister and my nephews...It really has been a blessing having them so close. For as long as I remember it was always a drive to see them..now it's a drive down the road and i've grown so close to them. I really hope they can move close too..like to Dallas or Houston again. If the whole entire family was close again, life would be PERFECT...

I hope that was an okay update for everyone...I promise I'll start writing in this thing more. My cousin is going to help me make this more appealing to the eyes. I've decided I'm not as creative as I thought I was. Or maybe it's because I suck at anything with computers. Either way..She's going to make it spiffy :)

Until next time...

Seriously..it's been 7 months already?!

Okay..It's officially official. I'm terrible at blogging..in a timely manner! It's been 7 months since my last post..and to say the least, a lot has gone one. I don't have TONS of time to update right now...so tomorrow i'm going to write a super long post and update everything...just wanted to post a little preview :)


Until tomorrow...

..And so it begins

After one month of being in Evansville, I found it appropriate to fill everyone in on what's been going on. I guess i'll begin with the move....

The day I left Corpus was INNNSANE to say the least. The moving company we hired to fill our yellow Penske truck decided not to show up...(Don't use Busy Bee movers if you're wanting to actually move) We had to call about 5 other moving companies to see if they could show up in the next 2 hours. We found one, and they came and loaded up the truck in record time (thank God)! Before the 2nd moving company came, I had to leave for Houston so I could take my car in to get the alignment fixed. I decided it would be a good idea to give my cat, Noah, a Benedryl to see if it would knock him out so he wouldn't be meowing the entire trip. Well...that idea completely backfired on me. As we were driving along, he started throwing up everywhere and foaming at the mouth...I pulled the car over and called my mom because I honestly thought he was dying. She told me to call the vet..but as the phone was ringing, I realized it was Martin Luther King day, and everything was closed. At this point I was so pissed, I through my brick of a phone at the floor boards. Well, I didn't expect the phone to ricochet and hit my windshield..at this point I look up and my entire windshield is shattered. I just started balling and called my Dad. He told me to keep driving and we would get it fixed before we left for Indiana the next morning.

Thank God for Safelight windshield repair..they got to our house in Houston around 9am the following morning, and fixed the thing in about 30 minutes flat. It was now time to hit the open road! Hillary and Bibin got to Houston around noon, and we left Htown soon after. The trip was funnnn! I think me and Hillary listened to Kesha more than any other music. I found a bunch of old CDs from High School and we jammed the entire way. I honestly would have fallen asleep and driven into a ditch if it wasn't for them being in the car with me. They kept me awake! When we got to Indiana, it was coooooold. I think the most exciting part about it is that Hillary had never seen snow before! It started snowing the following morning and we all had a blast playing in it. That same day, we moved everything into the apartment..and started unloading boxes. After a nice long day unpacking, Me, Hillary, and Bibin decided to go gamble away at Casino Aztar here in Evansville. It's no Vegas, but it was pretty cool, and I won like $100. Bibin on the other hand, did not haha!

The next morning we left early to take Bibin and Hillary to Louisville so they could go back to Texas. It was a long trip, considering the roads were slick and we had to drive 40 mph on the highway. The next couple of days were just a lot of unpacking and setting up the apt.

I started my job on the 24th of January, the same day that mom left too. It was a long day of boring hospital orientation, but I guess it made it easier to say goodbye because I had stuff to do. After work, I decided to go to Katie's so I wouldn't be at home alone, and Ryder came running up to the door saying "Grandma, Grandma"! I started balling on the spot. I think the hardest part of it all was to say goodbye to the people I love.

Work has been okay...all we're doing right now is a bunch of 'classes'. I feel like I've been in school for the past 5 years..so why the heck do I need to learn all this AGAIN. They go too fast, and i'm not really following along. I've only been on the floor once a week, and feel like I havent learned much at all. I really hope they expect to keep me in orientation a little longer, because I would seriously kill someone if I went out in the next few weeks.

All in all, things have been going decent. I don't do much except hang out with Katie and the boys, but that's at least keeping me sane. On my first day of work, I had a lady come up to me and said "So, did you find a place to live yet"? I said yes, and we talked about where abouts. We came to find out we're neighbors! To make a long story short, she has 4 sons and I met one of them about a week or 2 after I moved in. We've been hanging out, but he's moving to Louisville on Saturday. It's just my luck to meet a friend, and then have them move away. I haven't met any girlfriends yet, I figured that's going to take a long time...but I never figured it would take this long. I hate eating lunch by myself at work, and coming home to my cats and my tv. It's getting to be an everyday routine..but I just signed up for a gym membership. I'm going to start working a lot, and just going to the gym..maybe itl make May come faster then it feels like it's going to come.

I've decided i'm going to start looking for Jobs in Austin, and Houston. I won't leave until the end of the year, but I need something to look forward to. I haven't heard anything about the Navy thing, so i'm not sure how that is going to work out.

Phew..that was a long post. After a month of crazy stuff going on..I figured I would be sitting here for 3 hours. I condensed a whole month into about 15 mintues.

I'll be home in May..and I'm seriously counting down the days on my calender..I was supposed to come home in March..but work decided to not listen to me when I asked 3 1/2 months in advance..Hope they listen when I take off in May, because if not, i'm just gonna go haha.

Until next time....